...and not the fun kind. This post won’t be a long one, because not too much new has changed with my health. I have seen a Neurologist & had CT scans of the vessels in both head & neck & also an EEG which looks at the functionality of my brain…all tests have come back normal. I am currently wearing a heart monitor, so we’ll see what information it shows us. As I’ve said before, I would like answers & a fix, but I can’t help but be grateful for the good health I still do have. And, so far, every test has proved I’m very healthy….except something is broken & not working right.
But each day is unpredictable….sometimes during the dayI feel pretty good, other times I’m knocked down by constant nausea from the low blood pressure. I can handle, the shakiness, the tingling in my arms & the buzz in my head, but when it’s bad & my head fills with fogginess so that it affects my eyesight & the nausea just won’t let up, I’m down until it decides to relent. Fatigue from doing nothing is unfamiliar to me….& its another thing I hate about this. So much time wasted doing nothing. Theres no rhyme or reason, no one can figure it out but we all know something is causing my blood pressure to bounce up & down. And, I’m really sick of it.
But on the positive side:
1. I’m on a high dose of medication that is supposed to raise my BP. While the blood pressure numbers aren’t going up much, I have had more good times than bad. On the bad times, I am usually down for about 6 hours, but I’m so grateful for the good times & am trying to be active & functional when they occur. I’ve also started taking a supplement I found out about when I joined a Facebook group of others who are struggling with some of the same things I am (research & be your own advocate). I’m hoping all this is helping, but so foreign with taking so many pills each day. But whatever….I want to feel normal…& if not normal, at least functional.
2. This is the big positive: Danny is taking me to Crested Butte! We were originally supposed to meeting there, but that was before all this medical shit started. We’ve all agreed I cannot drive myself out there (just to type those words makes me sad & crazy), so we are going together. We are taking my 4Runner (my Camper) & I can’t tell you excited I am to camp in her. With all my heart & soul, I hope it’s not the last time. Danny will sleep in the castle (a giant tent he used to sleep in prior to camping in his truck). My friends in Crested Butte have called, texted, messaged me through out this whole ordeal checking in with me & telling me all about our perfect little paradise. My friend Talie has scored us all our favorite & beloved campsite, & Joanie is coming from Longmont to camp with us too. I’ll see all my other friends while I’m there too—Rick, Greta, Susan & Tracy. If I’m having a good day, we’re going to try to hike. I can’t imagine being there & not being on the trails, but at this point I’m just so grateful to go…no matter what. We’re all a little concerned about what camping at 9,000’ will do to my BP, but the only way to know is to go. And as Danny said, this is the best mental therapy for me right now. And, I think it will be good for both of us…he’s been going through hell with this too & a nice mountain break with friends is just what we both need. We’ll end our trip in Denver for three days, seeing my friend Sherry, going to a long planned Ed Sheehan Concert (Danny is a bit worried how I’ll do that) & touring the Rhino district.
So, that’s it for now. When I get back I have one last test on my brain, a couple of appointments with the docs, but then a two month wait to see a cardiologist that specializes in the electrical part of your heart. I’d love it if that appointment got moved up, but we’ll just have to wait & see.
But, I’m still watching the sunsets & the moonrise, spending as much time outside as I can, even if I’m just sitting.
So much out of our control. So much uncertainty. So much unpredictability.
Live big, follow your dreams, & don’t take all the good things & good people in your life for granted.